Introduction to Cinematic Greatness

I would like to take a step back from the previous posts. I am a little disappointed with myself in terms of what I have been writing. I have seen myself on a downward spiral of comparing great books to silly movies, talking about how cool Jack Bauer is and discussing sandwiches. I feel as if I have some great ideas to bring forth, provocative ideas, but I have not been getting the chance. Over the past few months I have written a screenplay. I have been weary of releasing the entire thing on noseintheair, but decided tonight, thanks to booze, to post approximately the first five minutes of the script. Enjoy. (Note: If any part of the text below appears in a different color or has a date next to it, most likely it is a link. You are encouraged to explore all of the following links as they are actual links to actual movies or actors, courtesy of http://www.imdb.com/)

A quick little background: The past 10 years have seen a revolution in the film industry. That revolution has been lead by one fine actor. That actor's name is Buddy the Dog, a Golden Retriever from California. Buddy was made famous by filling in for Comet the Dog on the smash television show, Full House, while the original Comet was on vacation. Unbelievably, many critics list Buddy as a better Comet than the original, which led to a career-long rivalry between the two underrated actors. However, that is neither here nor there. Buddy began the Air Bud franchise in 1997 and would have carried it into the new millennium had it not been for his untimely death in 1998 after a long battle with cancer. It was decided before he died, however, that Buddy's character would be a multi-sport athlete and not just a basketball player. Much the same way Van Halen searched for a new lead singer after the departure of David Lee Roth in 1985, the creators of the Air Bud franchise had another important task: finding a replacement for Buddy. After a few sub-par stand-ins (see Air Bud: Golden Receiver (1998) and Air Bud: World Pup (2000)), the studio landed a contract with Dakota for the fourth film of the franchise, Air Bud: Seventh Inning Fetch (2002). Box office success and critical acclaim went directly to Dakota's head, as a result, the versatile actor demanded too much in salary and merchandising rights for the next film, Air Bud: Spikes Back (2003) and was denied the role. Many fans thought this was the end of the proud franchise. However, the legendary character has come back for a the most recent installment of the series, Air Buddies (2006). Not only does this work of art take a break from the sports themes of the prior installments, but for the first time we are exposed to Buddy's voice, as portrayed by the not-at-all-desperate-for-work, Tom Everett Scott.


Without further ado, I give you....

Air Bud 7: First Blood

<His old ways behind him, Buddy is serving as a seeing eye dog for a blind Buddhist Monk. While working at the monastery, Buddy receives a telegram informing him his former friend, Jack, the hockey playing/skateboarding/snowboarding primate from MVP (2000), MVP 2 (2001) and MXP (2003) has been kidnapped and forced to play for the North Korean hockey team. Patriotically refusing to perform, the chimpanzee was brutally tortured to death and a video tape of the execution was sent to the major American news stations. Flags are at half-mast.>

Buddhist Monk: Buddy, you know what the right thing to do is.
Buddy: Woof-woof, arf!
Buddhist Monk: Buddy! What have you learned in the last 7 years! Violence never solves anything!
Buddy: Bark!
Buddhist Monk: What the North Koreans done cannot be undone, so stop thinking about it.
Buddy: Woof-Woof!
Buddhist Monk: Buddy, you have always been your own person, and I cannot control what you are about to do. What is important is that you know the right thing and act upon it.
Buddy: Grrrrr!